Friday Fictioneers (100-word limit; 03.08.13)

©Jennifer Pendergast

©Jennifer Pendergast

I pushed her.

No one thought anything of it—they assumed she fell.

How many times had we counted those steps? She took the odd numbers; I, the even. I had fewer steps. She always came out ahead.

I often stayed at the base while she peered over the edge from the top. The stairs spiraled inward, upward, like a nautilus. My own face stared down at me, smiling. I never looked down on her, never had that vantage.

Just the one time. I couldn’t see her face. Only the tangle of hair and limbs and blood, like rough red algae washed ashore.

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28 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers (100-word limit; 03.08.13)

  1. Sounds like twins to me, one perceiving the other as “good” while she’s never as good. I like the nautilus comparison and “like rough red algae washed ashore” especially.

    janet

  2. Dear Flossie,

    Sustained, intense applause for your perfect peice. When I first read it I ‘saw’ two girl friends and never looked back. Reading janet’s comments and your reply i see twins now but either way, it is a powerful, wonderful, compelling story. So well done. You have vaulted into the upper echelone of the FF tale tellers with this one.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. Dear Flossie,
    I did see the twins in this. You raised the bar on sibling rivalry. Staring at my own face. Stunning, strong and subtle all at the same time. Good job!
    shalom,
    Rochelle

  4. Hi Flossie. I really enjoyed this story. I love how you start with the end and then circle back to it, much like the photo in a way. To me, great writing is in the details – you have crafted so much into this story, that I feel as though i know both these characters and their lifestory already. I don’t get to read everyone every week; you’ve made that worthwhile this time!

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